In 2008, my proactive Mom-active member of Oklahoma Silver Hair Legislature and advocate for senior citizens-came to Arkansas to see a doctor at the Washington Regional Medical Center for memory testing. At that time she was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment and he said she may or not ever develop Alzheimer's but he chose to start her on Aricept as a preventative. It did a really great job of giving her almost 8 years before she started showing real symptoms.
My explanation for Moms dementia is she has gotten more simple, developed a softer personality. She has been very aware of her decline until recently. Mom would ask lots of questions and asked for lots of guidance in making decisions. Now she seems to not be aware of her condition, other than forgetting names and having a difficult time recalling words. It's unbelievable how much I miss my Mom.
Dad first began showing signs of a brain tumor when I was 14, it was almost seven years before he received his diagnosis which required surgery in 1991. I really don't have many memories of my Dad before he was sick; after surgery he was never the same. Dads tumor was approximately the size of a ping pong ball, it was between his skull and the lining of his brain on the right side. (If you're not familiar, the right brain is home to your creativity, imagination, intuition, insight, left side among other things.) In 2013, Dad had his first memory testing performed; the conclusion was vascular dementia with a suggestion to not drive. Dad got very upset with the doctor claiming he had threatened him. We did nothing to prohibit his driving. Over the past 5 years we've noticed a decline in his ability to recall words, names and a lack of judgement. Again in December 2016 he went through memory testing this time with a different doctor, her diagnosis was the same but she added on an "unspecified dementia" and directions that "if the patient refuses to quit driving the family must take away the keys or disable the vehicle."
Back to Mom, in March 2017 she saw her doctor and she asked about driving. He said he couldn't definitively say and referred her to driver control. They reviewed her case and ask for additional information from her doctor. They honestly answered that she does have Alzheimer's Disease, driver control revoked her license immediately.
After Mom lost her license, we continued to talk to Dad about no longer driving. We showed him the note from the doctor, we encouraged him by reminding him that we have 3 licensed drivers ready to drive him anywhere at any time. He still refused. Ted and I had to go out of town, leaving our eldest daughter at our house responsible for our other kids AND my parents. We knew it was time for us to put a stop to his driving, we had no choice but to disable his vehicle. He lost his temper worse than I'd ever seen, he blames me and says the doctor only made him quit driving because I was under stress. I've tried appealing to his sense of logic by explaining that making him angry and taking away his driving ability only increases my stress. His lack of insight has really become more significantly pronounced, his temper is very short and he lashes out frequently at Mom and I.
This is where I am. Most days I cry at least once. I can't seem to escape that feelings that fill me with a sadness and fear that not very many people understand. I'm inheriting the risk of dementia from both of my parents, not just dementia that comes with age but that damn dementia that comes from your family. What a crappy inheritance. Through this blog I will be real, raw, vulnerable and hopefully someone will find comfort that they are not alone in their journey
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